


On The Perils Of Temporarily Becoming A Girl (Because Your Boyfriend Wants You To)

by Nary



Category: Diablotin
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bibliophiles, Bisexual Male Character, Casual Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Established Relationship, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Femininity, First Time, Gay Male Character, Genderplay, Genderswap, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Partners, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Relationship Advice, Sex Education, Sort of Demon Sex, Straight For You, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2012-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:10:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You have this gift, it seems a shame not to use it once in a while."</p><p>"I've never been a girl before," Xan admitted shyly.  "I don't know if I can do it right."</p><p>Justen shrugged.  "Just imagine a girl you've seen before, and make yourself like that.  But like you, too.  A girl you."</p><p>This only made Xan more apprehensive.  "Seen… where? On the street, at a party, what?"</p><p>"Naked?" Justen suggested helpfully.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Perils Of Temporarily Becoming A Girl (Because Your Boyfriend Wants You To)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [First Choice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/347220) by [Precisely_Measured_Words (Measured_Words)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured_Words/pseuds/Precisely_Measured_Words). 



Xan was flustered the first time Justen asked him, though he tried not to show it. "Why?" he wanted to know. "Isn't this good enough for you?" He slid his hand down his body, bringing it to his cock, stroking it tantalizingly.

Justen laughed, rolling over him, pinning him down with his greater mass, his auburn hair hanging around his face. "It's just for fun," he said carelessly. "For… variety."

Xan was well aware that Justen got plenty of 'variety' already. There was something appealing about the idea that he wanted to experience that variety with Xan, though, as opposed to with anyone else he might have chosen. 

"Try it, come on," Justen wheedled. "I want to fuck your pussy, Xan. It'll be good, I know it will."

Xan flushed – his fair skin always betrayed his feelings. "You can fuck me just like this." He spread his legs to try and encourage Justen into doing just that.

Justen's cock rubbed against him, but didn't enter him. "I'm curious to see what you look like as a girl," he told his lover. "I think you'd be beautiful."

"Aren't I already?" Xan demanded.

"You know what I mean," Justen said, kissing him. "Of course I like you the way you are. But you have this gift, it seems a shame not to use it once in a while."

"I've never been a girl before," Xan admitted shyly. "I don't know if I can do it right."

Justen shrugged. "Just imagine a girl you've seen before, and make yourself like that. But like you, too. A girl you."

This only made Xan more apprehensive. "Seen… where? On the street, at a party, what?"

"Naked?" Justen suggested helpfully. 

"I haven't," Xan confessed. Well, he had seen his little sister naked before, and once, in an incident he had tried to scrub from his mind, his mother, but he was fairly sure that would be a whole realm of creepiness he didn't want to get into, and anyway, he had thankfully managed to avoid looking too closely. 

Justen's brow furrowed, as if this idea was incomprehensible to him. "You've never fucked a girl before?"

"I always knew I liked guys," Xan said, grinding against him as a reminder of just how much he liked this particular guy. "I never felt like I needed to test myself just in case I was wrong."

"You don't know what you're missing," Justen said with a grin. "Girls are amazing. I should find you one."

"Really, you don't have to," Xan protested, but he sensed it was futile, now that Justen had an idea. He could be remarkably single-minded. 

Justen hitched his hips against him, rubbing their cocks together before lifting Xan's legs to help him slide into him more easily. Xan groaned, undone by him as always. "Try it for me?" he whispered against his ear, and Xan, unable to resist, said yes, yes, of course he would.

***

He half-hoped that Justen might have forgotten about the plan when nothing happened for a week. But when the older boy showed up at his window one evening and told him with a sly smile that he had a surprise waiting, Xan knew instantly what it must be. "Who is she?" he demanded to know.

"Her name's Lili," Justen told him, "she's fun." Xan was reasonably sure he knew what Justen's definition of 'fun' included. Still, he clambered out the window to join Justen on the roof, folding his wings tight against his back. 

"Are we going to your place?" he asked. Justen had moved out of his parents' house at the earliest opportunity, fleeing the chaos of his half-dozen younger siblings. He kept a flat in the Place D'Iena, a decent enough neighbourhood, centrally located and convenient, and where one was not too likely to be robbed or assaulted. 

But Justen shook his head. "She wants us to come to her," he said with a smile that Xan recognized well. It was the one that meant _I'm getting exactly what I want._

"Fine, so where's that?"

"She's got a place in Pearl, above a shop."

"She's not a whore, is she?" Xan asked, suspicious.

Justen scoffed. "Not ever girl who lives in Pearl City is selling, Xan. She's just… easy. It's sort of a philosophical thing with her." 

"Fine, whatever," Xan sighed. "Where in Pearl are we going?"

"You know the Red Anchor, on Bankside? It's not far from there."

"I suppose I should make myself look… unobtrusive," Xan said, and shifted his form to the usual one he used when his wings would be a hindrance, essentially identical to his true shape in all ways but that. He knew his somewhat elven appearance, his foreign clothing might still attract attention, but it would be the sort of attention he was prepared to deal with. And in Pearl City, it might not even attract that many stares, not with so many other enticements to draw one's attention.

"You would probably be fine," Justen said with a shrug. 

"Easy for you to say," Xan retorted, and offered him his hand. Together, they vanished from the rooftop, reappearing in the middle of a crowded, rather grubby street. Justen took a deep breath, while Xan wrinkled his nose at the barrage of smells – fish and unwashed bodies and the sludge of the river, overlaid with the sour smell of exile-paste and cheap wine and piss. "I hate Pearl," Xan grumbled.

"How is that even possible?" Justen wondered. "It's humanity at its most honest."

"I am perfectly content with humanity's polite fictions," Xan said, gingerly sidestepping a man lying insensible in the gutter. "They did develop them for a reason."

Justen laughed. "This way," he said, taking them around a corner and onto a lane that was mercifully less busy.

"What have you told her?" Xan asked warily.

"Oh, nothing too much," Justen said with a casual shrug that made Xan suspicious. "That I had this friend who'd never done it with a girl and wanted to give it a try." 

"Ah," Xan said. "You didn't mention about... us?"

"It might have come up," he admitted. "I might have promised her that we'd give her a bit of a show before-hand."

Xan frowned. "I'm not a very good actor."

"Oh, you won't have to pretend," Justen smirked, laying a possessive hand on the small of Xan's back.

"How well do you even know this girl?"

"Lili? Oh, I've known her for years and years," said Justen casually. "She's a good sport, and she knows when to keep her lips sealed, if that's what you're worried about." He stopped outside a shop, its windows unlit at this hour of night, and rang the bell.

"I'm not worried," Xan insisted. "I just like to know what I'm getting into, that's all."

"Too cautious by half," Justen said affectionately, just as the door opened. A girl, probably around Xan's age or maybe closer to Justen's, stood there holding a lamp. She was slight, dressed in a startlingly short skirt, almost up to her knees, with fox-red hair cut in a bob, a scattering of freckles and a cheeky grin.

"So this is your friend?" she said brightly.

"This is Xan," Justen agreed, pushing him gently but firmly forward. "Xan, meet Lili." 

"Come on in," Lili urged them, stepping aside so they could enter. In the shop's interior, though it was dark, Xan could make out the bulky shape of a printing press, and smell the paper and ink. Lili led them to a narrow staircase that brought them to the upper level of the building. Her quarters weren't fancy, but they were spacious enough, and had a rather cluttered, eclectic look that reminded Xan of his parents' house – particularly the large numbers of books scattered around.

"Are you a student at the Castalia?" he guessed.

Lili smiled, setting down the lamp on a small table. "No, I just like to read."

Xan picked up one of the books idly – a political treatise on the Leveller movement, rather than the frivolous novel he had expected from her statement. He set it back down carefully on top of the pile where he'd found it. 

"Lili's insufferably clever, Xan, so you should get along splendidly," Justen teased, allowing her to swat him on the arm. 

"I'm not," she said, as if it was a somewhat shameful medical condition to be smart. "I have a good memory, that's all." 

"Sure. Dad tries to recruit people who just 'have a good memory.'"

"Shut up, Justen," she said more firmly, frowning. "He hasn't recruited me, and if he did it wouldn't be because... oh, can we just stop talking about this? It's stupid, and dangerous too." She looked cross, and Xan wondered if they might not get turned out onto the street again if things kept going in this direction. 

But Justen could be remarkably charming when he chose to make the effort. "You're right, Lili," he said, not in a soothing, condescending sort of way, but in a way that genuinely sounded like he'd been convinced. "Who cares about all of that bullshit anyway, when there are much more important things in the world?"

Xan suspected that what Justen considered 'important' might not correspond precisely to this girl's interests, judging by her bedside reading material, but evidently they had some things in common. "Yeah. I believe I was promised some entertainment," she said, eyeing them both with an appraising look. 

"Just put us where you want us," Justen said agreeably. 

Lili hopped onto the bed and sat cross-legged. "Right there is fine," she told them. "Or wherever you want, really. I don't mind."

"Uh, what are you expecting?" Xan asked nervously, even as Justen was taking off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt. 

"I'm expecting this to be amazingly hot," she grinned.

Justen moved to unfasten the clasps on Xan's tunic, kissing him as he did so, and soon Xan was almost able to forget there was a woman watching them. Not quite completely, though – when Justen first slid a hand down his trousers, then tugged them over his hips, he flinched a little, embarrassed. He glanced at Lili out of the corner of his eye and saw that she was leaning forward avidly, like a child at a puppet show. "Maybe you could suck him, Justen," she suggested.

"I could," Justen agreed, and knelt in front of Xan, taking his cock in hand and stroking it slowly before bringing his mouth to its tip. Xan couldn't help but moan, closing his eyes and managing to make himself believe, just for a moment, that it was only the two of them. To brace himself, he set his hand down on one of the piles of books, which was less sturdy than it seemed. Books tumbled to the floor, and he was jolted out of his brief moment of relaxation.

"Sorry," he said to Lili, shamefaced.

"No no, don't worry about them," she reassured him. "Keep going, I loved the look on your face a moment ago. You can come onto the bed if you want," she added, and slid over to make room for them.

Xan stepped out of his trousers and sat stiffly on the edge of the bed. Justen on his knees was such a lovely sight, though, and watching him crawl across the floor to him was enough to drive other worries out of his mind. Xan reclined on his elbows so that he could keep watching Justen as he once again took his cock between his lips. When Lili reached out to stroke his hair, Xan twitched slightly, startled, but it felt nice, so he didn't ask her to stop. He'd never been with two people at once, and the combination of sensations coming from different directions was simultaneously distracting and tantalizing. He found himself leaning into her touch, turning his face against her hand when she ran her thumb over his parted lips. 

"Too many clothes, Lili," Justen came off his cock long enough to say. Xan moaned impatiently and pushed him back down, thrusting into his open mouth. Lili stood to wriggle out of her skirt and blouse, tossing them aside. Xan couldn't get a good look at her body from this angle, but he was far too distracted anyway. She knelt behind him and drew his head back to rest against her belly, running her fingers through his fine blond hair, caressing his face, gliding her hand down his neck to his chest to lightly pinch his nipple and make him give an embarrassing little shriek. When it was only hands on him, he didn't have to think too much about who they were attached to, about what was going to happen next…

He was just starting to feel relaxed enough that he might have been able to get close to coming when Justen stopped abruptly, pulling off him with a none-too-refined slurp. "I think that's enough for now," he said, standing. 

Xan was slightly dazed, but coherent enough to complain at the sudden cessation of cocksucking. "Not nearly enough," he muttered.

"For now, I said," Justen told him lightly as he removed his own trousers. "You have other work to do first."

Lili sniffed. "I hope I'm not 'work'."

"Just an ill-chosen phrase, sweetheart. He's aching for you. Aren't you, Xan." 

It was not a question. "Of course," Xan said, trying to smile as he turned over to face her.

"Is it really your first time?" Lili asked, drawing him up to lie beside her. "Justen said it was, but I could hardly believe him, especially once I saw you."

"First time with a girl," Xan muttered. "Plenty of boys." 'Plenty' might have been a slight exaggeration, but he wasn't going to let either of them know that.

"Oh, that makes sense," she said, smiling. There was a little gap between her front teeth, he noticed now that he was looking her right in the face, so close he could have counted the freckles on her nose. She was scrutinizing him just as closely, and apparently what she saw left her uncertain, as her smile faded. "You do... want to do this, don't you?"

"I want to try," Xan surprised himself by saying. "I don't know if it'll work the way it's supposed to, but if it doesn't, it's not because there's anything wrong with you." 

"All right," she said, her smile returning.

"If it doesn't go well, don't worry," Justen said, sliding in beside Lili on the bed. "I'll take care of both of you."

"How reassuring," Lili laughed. She laid her hand lightly on Xan's hipbone. "If you want to stop, or if there's anything I can do that would make it better, just say so, okay?"

He nodded, still nervous but feeling slightly more confident now. Shyly, he moved to kiss her. Her lips were soft and warm, parting easily against his, her tongue pressing its way eagerly into his mouth. He knew he ought to touch her breasts, but he hesitated, concentrating on one thing at a time. Over her shoulder he could see Justen watching them, his red eyes darting from one to the other. The reminder that Justen wanted this, and was by all indications enjoying it, helped him work up the courage to slide his hand down her shoulder and cup her breast gently. It was on the small side, he thought, but still oddly yielding, moving with her breath and every small motion of her body. He tried giving her nipple a little pinch, but stopped when she gasped. "Not good?"

"Very good," she reassured him, pulling him back. "Not too hard, but hard enough."

Xan continued with her instructions in mind – it wasn't so different, he told himself, and almost succeeded in convincing himself of that for a little while. "You should go down on her before you fuck her," Justen suggested with a sly smile. "It's only polite."

"I'd like that," Lili agreed, "if you want to."

His mouth suddenly gone dry, Xan nodded. He knew what Justen really wanted – for him to have a good, close look at a woman's genitals so that he could learn to imitate them convincingly. This was why he'd gone to the effort of arranging this assignation (although there were clearly side benefits as well, the cynical part of Xan's mind noted.) Lili spread her legs, and Xan knew they were both waiting for him to get on with it, so he pushed himself down the bed to lie between her thighs and see what would happen next. 

He stayed there for a long while just staring at her, at the soft, hidden folds of her body. From an anatomical perspective it was quite interesting, he thought, but aesthetically it wasn't really his thing. Lili spread herself wider, parting her lips with two fingers, and her scent hit him stronger than before; he could see that she was moist and probably getting impatient, but he was uncertain how to start. He gave Justen a wordless appeal for help, and was relieved when his friend moved down to join him at the foot of the bed.

"Lick her," Justen murmured, "just here, on her clit." He teased her with a light touch, making her moan. "See? Easy," he said with a knowing smirk. Xan licked his lips, nervous, but nodded. He bent his head down over her, flicking his tongue swiftly across the spot Justen had indicated. It tasted odd, but not bad. He tried again, and Lili's hips pushed up sharply against his face, forcing him to taste her more deeply. Justen brushed Xan's long hair back over his shoulder, presumably to give himself a better view of the action. "Good," he encouraged him, "keep doing that, she likes that. Faster, though, and don't stop this time."

Xan tried to do as he was told, licking and sucking at her, switching to his fingers (with Justen's guidance) when he needed a moment's breath before going back to using his mouth. She seemed to like what he was doing, twisting and gasping for air and begging him for more. The sense of power and satisfaction were pleasant enough, but he didn't have the same desperate hunger he felt when sucking cock, the feeling that he could do this forever and not get tired of it, the burning heat that spread through his whole body and left him trembling when Justen came against the back of his throat. Still, with a little advice and moral support, he was able to make her shudder and shake and arch her back, legs stiff and toes curling, until she finally collapsed back onto the mattress panting. "Stop, enough, give me a minute," she managed between deep, frantic breaths, and he was able to sit back on his heels and wipe his face with the back of his hand with a sense of mingled relief and pride.

His cock had gone soft, but he felt hot and tight all over, and he knew it would only take a few strokes from Justen to bring him back up again. Justen seemed to know it too, for he reached over to Xan, teasing him with the tip of his finger before taking his cock into his fist, rubbing it as it began to harden once more. Xan clutched at the back of Justen's neck, pulling him closer in order to kiss him. "When you're ready," Justen whispered against his ear, "I want you to fuck her."

Xan covered Justen's hand with his own, stroking himself along with his lover. He was stiff and aching and wanted desperately for Justen to just finish him off, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Lili watched them through heavy-lidded eyes, fingertip tracing a circle around the taut point of her nipple. "Can she..." he began, before realizing it was rude to talk about her as if she wasn't there. "Can you turn over?"

Lili nodded and flipped herself onto her belly, knees bent and arse pointing to him. Xan took her hips in his hands to bring her into position. He knew he had to do it now, while he was still needy from Justen's touch. He couldn't seem to get it quite right, though – he pushed against her but didn't slide in, then tried again and made her give a little cry that didn't sound like she enjoyed it. He drew back on his haunches, frustrated, unable to find the right angle or movement that would bring him inside her. "Here," Justen said calmly, and moved behind him, taking Xan's cock in one hand to help steer it, moving his body, somehow, to precisely where it needed to go. With Justen's greater experience guiding him, he sank into her at last and gave a grateful moan, as did Lili. Xan stayed there, trembling, pinned between them, feeling the warm slick of her pussy surrounding him, the hard length of Justen's cock against his back, wanting something more and yet unable to articulate his wishes. Shortly, Justen moved away from him and the moment passed, leaving him thrusting and struggling on his own towards a goal that seemed close enough to touch and yet painfully out of reach.

Lili ground back against him, and he grabbed her hips as much to steady himself as her. He felt off-balance, the sensations washing over him recognizable but unfamiliar. She was almost too slick, not enough friction to give him what he needed, and her grip around him wasn't as tight as he was used to. He thrust harder, trying to overcome those obstacles. Imagining himself in her position, being fucked by Justen, seemed impossible.

Justen, meanwhile, was watching them, stroking his cock lazily. "Let me," Lili gasped, hooking a hand around his waist to pull him closer. Justen moved obligingly, positioning himself where she could most easily take him into her mouth, and soon he was tangling his hands in her hair so that he could fuck her face while Xan fucked her cunt. Her head bobbed over his cock, and Xan found he could focus his gaze on Justen, on the way he turned his neck, the way his auburn hair swung across his face, the mouth-open, eyes-closed, cheeks-flushed, oh-gods-yes expression. Xan didn't care that it was someone else making him look like that, he just needed to see how much he was enjoying this, how good it was for him. Justen's eyes opened slowly and locked with his, and he smiled, pursed his lips to blow a teasing kiss in Xan's direction. "Come on," he mouthed silently, and Xan, to his surprise, did as he was told, slamming into Lili for a few more short, stuttering strokes before he finally came. 

He slid out of her and lay panting on the bed. He heard Justen coming a little while later, but was too drained to make the effort to turn his head and look. It sounded good, though. Lili moved to kiss him and he could taste his lover's seed in her mouth. Then she bounded up out of bed as though after a good night's sleep. "All right, it's been fun, boys, but I have to be up in the morning!" 

Xan managed to drag himself upright, even though his legs felt as heavy as lead. "Did I... shit, I probably shouldn't have come inside you, sorry," he said, embarrassed. He wasn't used to partners who might theoretically have babies.

"Oh, don't worry about it," she reassured him. "I'll take a potion tomorrow, everything will be fine." 

"Lili has this down to a science," Justen said, earning himself a swat on the backside as he bent to pick up his clothes from the floor. 

"It's not a science, it's a philosophy of life," she corrected him, amused. 

"Whatever," he grinned. "It's fun."

"That's the general idea," she agreed. Turning to Xan, she offered him her hand to help him stand. "I hope you enjoyed yourself."

"It was… very memorable," he said, smiling. "Thank you."

"Anytime," Lili said, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Although Xan didn't really expect to be back in her bedroom in the near future, he found himself thinking that he might enjoy talking to her sometime, under less stressful circumstances.

"Do you want me to come home with you, tuck you in?" Justen asked mischievously as they descended the stairs.

"I'm not sure I can take any more… tucking tonight," Xan said. "But I'll come see you tomorrow if you want."

"I didn't have any other plans." Justen kissed him and waited for him to teleport away first. 

*** 

When Xan managed to drag himself out of bed the next afternoon, he felt entirely too grimy for words, and drew some water to wash himself off. As he bathed, he made a few experimental efforts at turning himself into a girl. Then he realized he should probably make sure the door was locked, in case one of his younger siblings decided to barge in – he really didn't feel like explaining that to Rhyl or Dez or, worst of all, Em. Fortunately it was, so he was able to continue his explorations in privacy. Breasts were challenging – too big, too small, too hard, too soft, and he wasn't sure what Justen would want anyway. He finally settled on a pair he thought were reasonable, but practiced making them a little larger and a little smaller, just in case. Changing his face, his build, were easy enough, he was used to that – he looked in the mirror to observe the effects of narrowing his jaw, flattening his browbone, rounding his cheeks, making his lips fuller, until he was pleased with what he saw. He was still recognizable as himself, but more feminine. Wider hips, narrower waist and shoulders, a more delicate frame overall... He was relatively confident he had the genitals right too, after a bit of intimate exploration with his fingers. 

He wasn't quite confident enough to just walk downstairs like that, however. He pulled on a loose-fitting tunic and trousers and after making sure no siblings were in the immediate area, crept out to the landing. He wanted an objective but critical eye to look him over, and fortunately the best candidate for that was likely to be downstairs. "Dad?" he shouted, and was surprised at the change in his voice. 

Arek came to the foot of the stairs. "Do you have to shout?" he asked, but he wasn't cross at being interrupted. 

"Sorry, but can you come to my room for a minute? I have to show you something."

Sighing, Arek did as his son asked. "Well, what is it?"

Xan cleared his throat nervously. "Can't you tell?" He flattened the tunic against his body, so that it showed his curves better.

"Oh!" Arek blinked in surprise. "You're a girl," he added unnecessarily. "Congratulations?"

"Only temporarily," Xan said hastily. "I just wanted to get a second opinion on whether I did it right."

Arek looked him up and down with a steady eye. "It's pretty good," he said at last. "What I can see, anyway."

Xan had no intention of showing his father more than he already was. "It'll do?"

"Depends what for," Arek said. "A casual glance on the street? It's pretty subtle. Someone who already knows you might not be able to place the difference at first. If you want them to immediately think 'female,' and not "Did Xan change his hair or something?" you need to be a bit more… overt than that."

"No, it's ok," Xan said. "I don't need to be aggressively girly to everyone who sees me, I just want to look like me – if I was a girl."

"Well, you look like yourself if you were kind of a boyish girl. If that's what you're aiming for, then I'd say you hit the nail on the head."

"You think I should go a bit more feminine, then."

Arek shrugged. "It's up to you, obviously. I don't know what your goal is."

Xan blushed. He had hoped to avoid explaining this to his father. "I just want to... well, a friend wanted... it's for…"

"Sex?" Arek supplied helpfully. 

Xan nodded, blushing even more hotly. 

"Well, I think your… friend… will be pleased with how you look, but sex is just as much about how things feel as their appearance. Do you…" He hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "…feel like a girl?"

"I guess," Xan muttered. 

"I don't mean emotionally, I mean..." Arek made some imaginary-breast-groping hand gestures.

"Dad! Yes. I think so. I don't have a lot to compare it to," he admitted.

"But you do have _some_ basis for comparison?"

"A very limited amount."

"Well, you know, the more you practice, the easier it'll get," Arek comforted his son. "And I would hope your friend would let you know – kindly – if there was anything he wanted you to change. I mean, your father and I talked at length about how I would look when we decided to have you, but by the time we got around to your sister he thought he'd rather I…"

"Great," Xan said hastily, cutting off the story he would have preferred not to hear at all. "I have to go, thanks Dad."

"Good luck," Arek said with a wave. He smiled fondly as his son disappeared.

***

It was probably still too early to go to Justen's, he might not even be awake yet, but Xan was too nervous to walk around and kill time. He arrived in Justen's bedroom and found his boyfriend sprawled on his stomach, taking up the entire bed. So as not to startle him (bad things sometimes happened when Justen was startled) he sat down on the edge of the mattress and stroked his hair gently. Justen muttered something incomprehensible and rolled over, making room for Xan to curl up beside him. He kept touching Justen lightly, then leaned in to kiss him, and finally Justen half-opened his eyes.

"Morning," he said with a sleepy smile.

"It's afternoon," Xan told him. "Did you go out longer after I went home?" he teased.

"Noooo," Justen sighed. "I just fell into bed. But then Mercy came by at half past dawn and so I had to get up and put on pants. I just got back to sleep an hour ago."

"Poor you," Xan said, not feeling especially sympathetic. "Look what I brought you." He sat up and unfastened his tunic, trying not to let his hands tremble as he pushed it open.

Justen's eyes widened at the sight of his breasts. "Very nice," he said, tracing the curve of one with his finger, then lightly tweaking its nipple to make it stand up. Xan was surprised at how good it felt. Justen usually slept naked, and it was easy to tell he liked it too. He sat up as well, brushing Xan's hair back to admire his face. "You look gorgeous," he told him, making Xan smile and blush. "Take the rest of your clothes off, I want to see all of you."

Xan slid his trousers off and let Justen look him over. For a few moments Justen said nothing, then let out a long, greedy groan and pulled Xan roughly onto his lap. "Perfect," he whispered, nuzzling his neck. "You make such a fucking beautiful girl."

"Are you going to fuck me, then?" Xan asked, wrapping his arms around Justen's shoulders.

"I told you, it's polite to go down on a lady first." Justen lifted him (so easily!) and put him down on his back on the bed, then moved swiftly to lie between his legs. Xan opened them for him, his heart pounding in his temples in case he'd done something wrong. But Justen didn't seem to have any complaints – he dove in straightaway and started tonguing his boyfriend's pussy, and then Xan found he wasn't worried anymore about whether he looked exactly right – he felt amazing, and that was all that really mattered. It wasn't the same as having his cock sucked, it felt more concentrated, more focused. He grabbed Justen's head to pull him closer, make him go deeper, harder. Justen laughed against him, sending shivers up his spine. "You want more?" he said, lifting his mouth for a moment.

"Yes, no, I… I don't know," Xan gasped. "I want _you_."

Justen nodded and slowly, far too slowly for Xan's liking, crawled up his body until he was stretched out full length on top of him. His cock was pressed against Xan's mound, but that wasn't where he wanted it. He was trying to think of a polite and coherent way to say "Get inside me NOW," when Justen suddenly did something, moved somehow, and was. Xan was too startled for a moment to react. Then the familiar slow burning feel started to spread through him, the feeling he always had when he and Justen were this close, the pleasure that cut close to the edge of pain, not quite crossing it, just dancing at the border. He had speculated in more coherent moments on the meaning of the fire, the clash of their natures mediated and mellowed by their human ancestors, and at another time he would consider carefully the differences in sensation between being penetrated vaginally and anally, but right now all he wanted was more of it, more of Justen, more.

"Harder," he begged, and Justen obliged, hauling one of Xan's legs up over his shoulder so that he could slam into him with even greater force. Something inside him felt like it was being pounded so hard it might burst. Xan whimpered with every thrust, but didn't want it to stop. "Need to," he gasped, not even entirely sure what he was asking for, but fortunately Justen seemed to understand. He licked his fingers, then brought his hand to the cleft of Xan's legs and started to rub his clit, and Xan couldn't manage to tell him much more than "yes, yes!" before he felt lightning surge through him, convulsing him – and it didn't stop with that single burst, because Justen didn't stop, it kept going and going, peak after mind-shattering peak, until Xan finally cried out that it was enough, too much, and even then Justen kept going a little while longer still, until he had reached his own climax, which was enough to leave his lover overwhelmed and close to tears.

He slid out gently and gathered Xan into his strong arms. "Told you it would be good," he whispered, but Xan could do little except gasp for breath. He let himself slide back into his true form and be held, comforted, thanked. 

"Next time," he told Justen once he was at least partly recovered, "you can be the girl."

"I thought you didn't like girls," Justen teased.

"I like you, though."

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


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